| Don Fry - What A Guy! |
| A couple of mangy small-town dogs wandered into the big city for the first time. As they roamed the streets, they came across a parking meter. "Look at that," one said to the other, "a pay toilet!" ----- When the golfer shanked his first tee shot into the woods, his partner muttered, "That's a lost ball." "No way," responded the errant shooter. "That's a special ball you can't lose. First it makes a beeping sound, and if you still can't find it, it emits puffs of smoke. If it lands in water," he continued, "it sends out a stream of bubbles, but if it's too deep to reach, a floatation device brings it to the surface. It's impossible to lose." "That's amazing," his partner said. "Where can I get one?" "I don't really know." Puzzled, his friend asked, "Well, where did you get yours?" "I found it." --------- A husband was distraught when he caught his wife in bed with another man. In desperation, he sought advice from his rabbi, who counseled forgiveness. "After all," the cleric said, "a man cannot be held responsible for his actions below the waist." At that, the furious man kicked the rabbi in the shin. -------- An African aboriginal chief was flown to London by a local scientific society and met at the airport by a flock of curious reporters. One asked, "Did you have a comfortable flight?" After making a series of squeaks, shrieks, and gurgles, the chief replied in perfect English, "Yes, thank you very much." "How long do you plan to stay?" he was asked. "Tweeeet, squeak, eeeuuuu," he began. "I think about three weeks." Baffled, the reporter asked, "Where did you learn to speak English?" "Shhhh, tweet, waaiiii. Short-wave radio." --------- As the highway patrolman approached the accident site, he found that the entire driver's side of the BMW had been ripped away, taking with it the driver's arm. The injured Yuppie, obviously in shock, kept moaning, "My car, my car," as the officer tried to comfort him. "Sir," the patrolman said gently, "I think we should be more concerned about your arm than your car." The driver looked down to where his arm should have been, then screamed, "My Rolex! My Rolex!" -------- Father Casey called in sick one Sunday morning so he could play golf. On the first tee, he sliced his drive deep into the woods. As he approached the ball, a bluebird picked it up, flew 300 yards down the fairway and dropped it into the hole. An angel, watching from above, was puzzled. "The priest is playing hooky from church," he said to the Lord. "Why the reward?" "Reward? Are you kidding?" the Lord replied, chuckling, "Whom can he tell?" --------- Three little boys were bragging about their fathers. One said, "My dad's so fast he can shoot an arrow from his bow and get to the target before the arrow does." "That's nothing," the second boy said. "My dad's so fast he can shoot a deer at five hundred yards and get to the deer before it falls." "So big deal," the third said. "My dad works for the Government and gets off work at four-thirty, but he's so fast he gets home by three forty-five."
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© Copyright 1999 Don Fry. |